September - 2024

Elite English Professors Piece Together Decades Long Trump Oratorical Weave

Sep 302 min read

Elite English Professors Piece Together Decades Long Trump Oratorical Weave

Near Oxford - An elite team of some of the smartest professors in England working day and night for the past several months has finally...

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Trump Campaign Announces Plan to Sell Rally NFTs

Zoo Knudsen

Sep 261 min read

Trump Campaign Announces Plan to Sell Rally NFTs

Palm Beach, FL - During a recent press conference held on the grounds of the Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach, club employee and United...

8 views4 comments

Cosmeceutical Industry Running Out of Ingredients

Zoo Knudsen

Sep 252 min read

Cosmeceutical Industry Running Out of Ingredients

Phoenix, AZ - Cosmeceutical researchers at the prestigious University of Phoenix have announced that if current trends of worsening...

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A Tense Standoff with Canada Continues as Massive Faucet Remains Stuck

Zoo Knudsen

Sep 221 min read

A Tense Standoff with Canada Continues as Massive Faucet Remains Stuck

Washington, D.C. - Relations between the United States and Canada remain at an all-time low as the Biden administration continues to balk...

37 views0 comments

Power Mad Taylor Swift Continues Political Endorsement Spree

Zoo Knudsen

Sep 201 min read

Power Mad Taylor Swift Continues Political Endorsement Spree

Nashville, TN - Having developed a taste for power after an extremely positive response to her endorsement of Vice-President Kamala...

13 views0 comments

Elon Musk Reveals Tesla Cybertruck Was Just a Joke

Zoo Knudsen

Sep 181 min read

Elon Musk Reveals Tesla Cybertruck Was Just a Joke

Austin, TX - Elon Musk, the billionaire buyer behind the purchase of a number of high profile companies and ideas, is saying that the...

6 views0 comments

Area Man Fooled by Supermarket Taste Test, Abandons Family

Zoo Knudsen

Sep 162 min read

Area Man Fooled by Supermarket Taste Test, Abandons Family

Belvidere, NE - When Belvidere taxidermist, and Diet Dr. Pepper enthusiast, Duane Frierson took part in a blinded taste test comparing...

5 views0 comments

Band-Aid Bandages to Offer Healing Benefits of Kinesiology Tape

Zoo Knudsen

Sep 132 min read

Band-Aid Bandages to Offer Healing Benefits of Kinesiology Tape

Skillman, NJ - American consumer health company Kenvue Inc., maker of the popular Band-Aid line of adhesive bandages, has announced that...

11 views1 comment

Trump Stuns Harris in First Presidential Debate

Zoo Knudsen

Sep 111 min read

Trump Stuns Harris in First Presidential Debate

Philadelphia, PA - From the very beginning of the first debate between presidential candidates Donald Trump and Kamala Harris, it was...

24 views1 comment

American Diets Deficient in Fudge, New Study Finds

Zoo Knudsen

Sep 102 min read

American Diets Deficient in Fudge, New Study Finds

Battle Creek, MI - The alarming findings of a 5-year study performed by scientists at the Kellogg Research Institute for Scientific...

14 views0 comments

Parents Speak Out After Surprise School Gender Reassignment Surgery

Zoo Knudsen

Sep 83 min read

Parents Speak Out After Surprise School Gender Reassignment Surgery

Wellesley, MA - In the fall of 2023, when Esme Clairmont left home on the morning of her first day of 7th grade at Wellesley Middle...

72 views0 comments

New Sports Betting App Takes America by Storm

Zoo Knudsen

Sep 41 min read

New Sports Betting App Takes America by Storm

Boston, MA - Despite having been made available to the public less than a month ago, the sports betting app MegaSports CashFlush has...

6 views0 comments

More People are Disclosing a Sexual Assault at Applebee's, New Survey Finds

Zoo Knudsen

Sep 22 min read

More People are Disclosing a Sexual Assault at Applebee's, New Survey Finds

Glendale, CA - According to the results of a new nationwide survey, more Americans are disclosing a history of sexual assault at...

16 views0 comments

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