Paradise Valley, AZ - An unfortunate clerical Error made by American Civil Liberties Union of Arizona staff has resulted in a Paradise Valley man's life being destroyed because of an accidental cancellation. Flexington, shown here outraged over his accidental cancellation while attending a Wine and Cheese fundraiser for The Heritage Foundation in Scottsdale "My life is ruined," Chip Flexington revealed. "These liberals really need to be more careful. Other than my family, fri

Emeryville, CA - Fans of the award-winning Pumpkids movies, reeling from news that the third and final installment of the planned Pumpkids trilogy has been postponed for undisclosed reasons, now have something to be excited about: a live-action prequel set to be released next October. Dame Judi Dench, sister of live-action Pumpkids prequel star Trudi, shown here playing a corrupt vice-president of Consolidated Companies in 9 to 5 2: Now They're All British! . "A lot of people

Waterbury, VT - Officials from the Vermont State Police (VSP) have issued a warning to be on the lookout for limited edition holiday fentanyls that could be flooding craft fairs, farmers markets, and cozy small-town coffee shops across New England this winter. A stylish ceramic serving dish, shown here holding enough candy cane fentanyl to kill every man, woman, and child who plays Christmas music before Thanksgiving in Pittsburgh "Not everyone is going to be a fan of these l

Tampa, FL - In an effort to be funny, and not because of a lack of true friends and a deep feeling of loneliness and existential angst as he enters middle age, Tampa resident Steve Boston ironically attempted to forge a human connection with a fellow gym-goer earlier today. Steve Boston, shown here not distracting himself from thoughts of dying alone, and looking forward to coming back to the gym tomorrow, on his birthday, because the girl at the front will see that on the co

Boston, MA - The "harvest moon", sometimes known as the "barley moon" or "corn puddin' moon", is the full moon nearest to the autumnal equinox and, at least historically, has been a welcome celestial event for farmers working to complete the year's harvest. But the harvest moon that occurred on October 6th was also the first supermoon of 2025. Hospitals, and the medical professionals that dedicate their lives to caring for the ill and infirm, are still reeling after a chaotic

Geneva, Switzerland - Top chiropractic particle physicists working at the European Organization for Nuclear Research in Geneva have announced the successful creation of a subluxon, the subatomic building block of the chiropractic subluxation, for the first time since their discovery in 2015. Actor Morgan Freeman, shown here preparing to reprise the role of Jasper St. Benjamin, a particle physicist who develops strange powers and learns to love again, in Particle Man 2: Quantu

St. Louis, MO - A mob of angry pet owners, shocked by the discovery of unhealthy ingredients like chicken by-product meal and corn gluten meal in their regular dog food, stormed the headquarters of several pet food companies today, leaving hundreds dead. It takes several podlings, like the one shown here volunteering to help Blue Buffalo scientists create a healthier dog food, to equal the amount of life-sustaining essence from just one gelfling "This is unacceptable, just un