

High School Junior Confirmed as New NASA Chief
Washington, D.C. - The United States Senate has approved the appointment of high school junior Kimberly Jergen to lead NASA after an unorthodox nomination process where President Donald Trump seemed at times unsure of his choice. NASA Chief Kimberly Jergen, shown here going to meet up with some friends at Sephora Jergen, 16, a member of her school's astrology club who became the first non-senior to serve as its president, is also the first NASA administrator in decades to com

Zoo Knudsen
2 days ago2 min read
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Chiropractic Researchers Study the Moon's Impact on Human Health
Cape Canaveral, FL - Though the moon has long served as a focus of numerous myths, legends, beliefs, and conspiracy theories, scientists have yet to find convincing evidence of any significant impact on human behavior or physiology. Perhaps, that is, until now. A highly sophisticated graph, shown here proving the benefit of chiropractic care during a full moon and that the Apollo 11 mission was obviously staged by NASA and that guy who directed The Shining Skeptics are quick

Zoo Knudsen
5 days ago3 min read
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RFK Jr. Overturns Food Pyramid, Calls for More Meat-Based Fruits and Vegetables
Washington, D.C. - Secretary of Health and Human Services (HHS) Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., and the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA), released new official dietary guidance on Wednesday that contradicts the classic food pyramid. A nervous RFK Jr., shown here imagining that a group of reporters is a giant ham in order to keep from wetting himself, but if he did wet himself, it was intentional and meant to mark his territory with the powerful scent of his musky urine

Zoo Knudsen
7 days ago2 min read
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Opinion: With a Little Help From Beyond, 2026 Could be Your Best Year Ever!
Brabara Bloodstone Human Psychic Host of The E! Science Channel's Ghost Celebrity Matchmaker 2025 is in the books and what a year it was. From the publication of research on the discovery of a third kidney to the retraction of the fraudulent study a few months later, there have been more ups and downs than anyone could have ever imagined. And I'm one of the most powerful psychics in Nebraska! 2026 is shaping up to be even more wild. As I accurately predicted on New Year's Ev

Zoo Knudsen
Jan 43 min read
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