In light of today's events, we at FIFA must consider possibly revoking the inaugural Peace Prize awarded to President Trump in December. At the very least, we will think about putting a hold on plans to bestow upon the president a permanent designation as FIFA Prince of Peace. Oops! That was supposed to be a surprise for his birthday party. Don't tell him you guys! Infantino, shown here awarding Salt Bae the inaugural FIFA World's Best Beef award in 2022 FIFA President Gianni

Washington, D.C. - In an unprecedented move, President Trump has now officially called on the United States Ultimate Court for a decision after the Supreme Court struck down his extensive global tariffs last week. Vice-President JD Vance, shown here being told that the Ultimate Court requires a human sacrifice to appear, and right before everyone in the room turns and looks at him "This has never happened before," Federal Judicial Center director Robin Rosenberg explained. "W

Belvidere, NE - According to food scientists at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln Agricultural Research Division, a recent breakthrough in the science of genetically modifying plants has led to the development of foods, particularly baked goods, with considerably higher amounts of love. Belvidere's Myrna Miller, shown here baking with her grandson Mervis, who was born with a cabbage head because her daughter-in-law prefers Sara Lee to her own homemade apple pie "Everyone kno