

Curry Barker Announces Plans for Film Based on Baby Jessica
Hollywood, CA - Hot off of the success of Obsession, the surprise blockbuster released earlier this year that has grossed more than $500 million on a $750,000 budget, American filmmaker Curry Barker has revealed plans for a survival thriller film based on Jessica McClure, popularized as "Baby Jessica", and the events surrounding her becoming trapped in a well on October 14, 1987. President George H. W. Bush, who has denied any involvement, shown here laughing with Baby Jessic

Zoo Knudsen
1 day ago2 min read


Hallmark Announces Plans for Switch to AI Movies in 2027
Studio City, CA - Hallmark Channel, the American cable television network owned by the Hallmark Cards subsidiary Hallmark Media, has announced plans for a complete transition to AI-generated movies and series in 2027. A Hallmark AI filmmaker, shown here fine tuning a photorealistic avatar of Lacey Chabert for season 14 of The Heart What Beckons "Hallmark is known for our romantic comedy, light romance, and mystery programming," Hallmark Media President Darren Abbott explained

Zoo Knudsen
4 days ago2 min read


Florida Police to Release Educational Film on Fentanyl Exposure
Miami, FL - As the opioid crisis continues to claim the lives of thousands of Americans each year, the Miami Police Department has announced plans to release a film for use by schools to educate children on the hidden dangers of fentanyl exposure. Corporal Blaze, shown here in a scene from Fentanyl Mania demonstrating the portable infrared homing air-defense system used by the MPD to protect the Miami citizens from skydiving drug dealers "Fentanyl is a deceptively dangerous d

Zoo Knudsen
7 days ago2 min read


Hims & Hers Announces Partnership with Paula Deen as Focus Shifts to Southern Markets
San Francisco, CA - Hims & Hers Health, Inc., an American telehealth company that sells prescription and over-the-counter drugs as well as personal care products, has announced a partnership with chef, cookbook author, and TV personality Paula Deen for a new marketing campaign focused on reaching the Deep South demographic. Paula Deen, shown here enjoying a plate of Y'all's Feelin' Fine Fried Chicken containing 50 mg of Zoloft per serving "With Y'all's, we are hoping to meet

Zoo Knudsen
Sep 91 min read


"It's a miracle that he survived.": Decapitated Flavor Flav Saved by Quick Thinking Physical Therapist
Lake Placid, NY - Legendary rapper and founding member of Public Enemy Flavor Flav, who was decapitated in March during a skeleton run at the Lake Placid Olympic and Paralympic Training Center, has been downgraded from dead to fair by his medical team. A physical therapist certified by the Kinesiology Taping Association International's neurosurgical division, shown here using an alternating oblique tug pattern on a patient whose head was recently caught in an elevator door "T

Zoo Knudsen
Sep 62 min read


Area Mother Close to Admitting Miracle Child is Complete Asshole
Newton, MA - After several years of expensive fertility treatments and multiple failed cycles of in vitro fertilization, Britt and Lancine Millersby had all but given up hope of becoming parents. But despite the odds against it, the couple conceived a child during a 2022 vacation to the Loire Valley region of France, and Lancine delivered a healthy baby boy less than a year later. Unfortunately, the child, named Britt after Lancine's beloved uncle who had died as a result of

Zoo Knudsen
Sep 33 min read