High School Junior Confirmed as New NASA Chief

Washington, D.C. - The United States Senate has approved the appointment of high school junior Kimberly Jergen to lead NASA after an unorthodox nomination process where President Donald Trump seemed at times unsure of his choice.

NASA Chief Kimberly Jergen, shown here going to meet up with some friends at Sephora

Jergen, 16, a member of her school's astrology club who became the first non-senior to serve as its president, is also the first NASA administrator in decades to come directly from outside government.

For many, her tenure as administrator will be judged by one crucial test - whether NASA will successfully put humans on the surface of the moon before America's primary rival China. Trump has been laser focused on the establishment of a permanent lunar base that would allow for the extraction of resources and play a key role in reaching Mars, where he hopes to find attractive alien women.

A computer rendered image of a potential Martian woman as described by President Trump

"I won't get into specific plans," Jergen explained. "But the Sun is in Capricorn, which means that under my new leadership NASA will take a realistic and grounded approach to life that is about getting things done and valuing what is worthwhile. This organization wants to feel useful and effective, and needs worldly recognition, but it takes pleasure in the simple things in life."

Senators voted by a large margin, 67-30, to confirm Jergen's appointment despite her nomination being withdrawn by the president at one point. According to Trump, his hesitance in putting forward the nomination months ago should not be taken as a sign of a lack of confidence. "I think Kimberly is a beautiful young lady and is very confident and tall. She reminds me a lot of Ivanka when she was almost legal. What? I can say whatever I want now!"

"This is the right time for taking action," Jergen revealed. "NASA is going to be all about planning for the future and taking charge of life, but it will also be about slow and steady progress. We will strive to balance being risk-averse with less inhibition while trying to avoid being distrustful and guarded. Ultimately we will focus on the value of hard work and the achievements of our predecessors."

The NASA administrator role will be Jergen's first job in politics. She will succeed Sean Duffy, the transportation Secretary, who served as interim NASA Chief since July and can do lots of pull-ups.