

Competitive Painting Set to Make First Olympic Appearance in Paris
Two U.S. painters have qualified for the Paris games - Winthrop Alabaster IV (AlaBlaster) and Cordelia Sinclair (Brush Bitch) - and two spots remain. Paris - For the first time in history, the Paris Games will feature competitive painting as an official Olympic sport. Competitive painting judge P-Slap Birchmore, shown here just after handing out a red flag for illegal tracing "Paint will be flying, next level imaginations will be revealed, and athletes will be showcasing thei

Zoo Knudsen
Jul 12, 20243 min read


More Parents Turn to Social Media for Help Choosing Baby Names
Nashville, TN - According to a recent study near Vanderbilt, an increasing number of new parents are using social media for inspiration when it comes to choosing a name for their babies. Two new parents, shown here lovingly gazing at their newborn son Mr. Beast, who later attempted to return the baby at a local GameStop "These are younger parents who have grown up with the internet and social media as a big part of their lives," Mort Fishman MD , an obstetrician and Director

Zoo Knudsen
Jul 10, 20241 min read


New Survey Finds Fewer Teens Followed by Sex Demons
Atlanta, GA - A newly published CDC study on the sexual habits of adolescents comes as a bit of good news in these uncertain times. Though millions of adults continue to face hardships related to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, the sluggish economy, the loss of basic human rights, and the intensifying death rattle of American democracy, fewer teenagers are being followed by shape shifting sex demons. A group of non-voting American 18-19-year-old teenagers, shown here celebrati

Zoo Knudsen
Jul 10, 20241 min read