Geneva, Switzerland - Top chiropractic particle physicists working at the European Organization for Nuclear Research in Geneva have announced the successful creation of a subluxon, the subatomic building block of the chiropractic subluxation, for the first time since their discovery in 2015. Actor Morgan Freeman, shown here preparing to reprise the role of Jasper St. Benjamin, a particle physicist who develops strange powers and learns to love again, in Particle Man 2: Quantu

St. Louis, MO - A mob of angry pet owners, shocked by the discovery of unhealthy ingredients like chicken by-product meal and corn gluten meal in their regular dog food, stormed the headquarters of several pet food companies today, leaving hundreds dead. It takes several podlings, like the one shown here volunteering to help Blue Buffalo scientists create a healthier dog food, to equal the amount of life-sustaining essence from just one gelfling "This is unacceptable, just un

Albuquerque, NM - Proponents of the ancient Chinese needle-based therapy known as acupuncture are rejoicing after the publication of a study investigating its use in patients with catastrophic penetrating neck wounds. Traditional Chinese ear acupuncture, shown here being used on a healthy 25-year-old man with a headache to prevent total organ failure from meningococcemia, may also slow death from exsanguination by a few seconds after taking a knife to the carotid artery "We c