

Genetically Modified Baked Goods Contain 30% More Love
Belvidere, NE - According to food scientists at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln Agricultural Research Division, a recent breakthrough in the science of genetically modifying plants has led to the development of foods, particularly baked goods, with considerably higher amounts of love. Belvidere's Myrna Miller, shown here baking with her grandson Mervis, who was born with a cabbage head because her daughter-in-law prefers Sara Lee to her own homemade apple pie "Everyone kno

Zoo Knudsen
Feb 262 min read


Quote of the Day: Riding the Wave of 80s Nostalgia
People are always asking what happened to the characters after that day. Did Ferris and Sloane get married? Yes! And now their kid is having a day off too. Cameron? Well...his father killed him when he got home and saw what happened to the car. Murder-suicide. And for some reason Tom Cruise is in this, but he's playing Maverick from Top Gun . And there are zombies. I'm contractually obligated to do this. Matthew Broderick, shown here with wife Sarah Jessica Parker, discussing

Zoo Knudsen
Feb 251 min read


New Study Contradicts Established Culinary Wisdom
Cambridge, MA - The results of a groundbreaking scientific study conducted near Harvard are calling into question a long-held culinary belief and angering home cooks around the world. Half of the study meals were prepared by Gladys Simpson, a real life grandmother whose heart is filled with hate, shown here angrily whisking up some homemade meringue "It's a myth," Chief culinologist and the study's lead author Gilbert Gaudet explained. "The subjects in our study performed no

Zoo Knudsen
Feb 242 min read