Hallmark Announces Plans for Switch to AI Movies in 2027

Studio City, CA - Hallmark Channel, the American cable television network owned by the Hallmark Cards subsidiary Hallmark Media, has announced plans for a complete transition to AI-generated movies and series in 2027.

A Hallmark AI filmmaker, shown here fine tuning a photorealistic avatar of Lacey Chabert for season 14 of The Heart What Beckons

"Hallmark is known for our romantic comedy, light romance, and mystery programming," Hallmark Media President Darren Abbott explained. "The use of artificial intelligence isn't going to change our priority to bring high quality content to viewers. Look, this is a done deal. Complaining isn't going to change that."

Hallmark's transition to relying on artificial intelligence to fully create its movies and series will be a first for network television. According to television historian Albert Iverson, this unprecedented move will involve scripts, visuals, and audio without a need for traditional cameras, crews, or physical sets, which will allow for production that is cheaper and more streamlined. "It's going to be terrible and people will definitely hate everything about it, but this is happening. What are you going to do, not watch?"

What is in store for fans of the channel beyond the 2027 horizon? With the ability to produce dozens of new movies every day using AI, the sky appears to be the limit. In addition to never needing to air the same movie twice, Hallmark fans may soon be able to create their own bespoke movies using fully digital, photorealistic virtual versions of their favorite stars for personal use. The dreams of romance, mystery, and fetish porn lovers will come true with just a few clicks on a keyboard, and for only the cost of a Hallmark+ Premium subscription and our grandchildren's future safe water supplies.

The ability to finally be able to provide content that meets the expectations of all viewers, even the weirdos, is something that Hallmark Media leadership has long sought after. Abbott reveals that building a future where Hallmark continues to bring joy, positivity, and connection to fans and consumers everywhere is his number one priority. "Number two is remaining profitable. Number three is the Christmas office party. And, of course, eventually we will have to prioritize the welcoming of our new robot overlords."