Vermont State Police Issue Warning Over Limited Edition Holiday Fentanyls

Waterbury, VT - Officials from the Vermont State Police (VSP) have issued a warning to be on the lookout for limited edition holiday fentanyls that could be flooding craft fairs, farmers markets, and cozy small-town coffee shops across New England this winter.

A stylish ceramic serving dish, shown here holding enough candy cane fentanyl to kill every man, woman, and child who plays Christmas music before Thanksgiving in Pittsburgh

"Not everyone is going to be a fan of these limited edition fentanyls," VSP Director Matthew T. Birmingham explained. "But some people are going to get really excited about this stuff, especially the one called Pumpkin Spice, and they will probably be pretty obnoxious about it until March."

Psychologists have been exploring the roots of the national obsession with certain fall scents and flavors for decades. According to Emerald Sinclair, a social psychologist that consults with police departments around the country, there were fanatics long before Starbucks introduced its Pumpkin Spice Latte in 2003. "People love to be reminded of the changing leaves, time with family, their childhood home, and the joy that this season brings. And those warm feelings of nostalgia will be the last thing they experience as the fentanyl kicks in and their brain begins to shut down from a lack of oxygen."