Studio City, CA - The Hallmark Channel has announced that it will be moving forward with plans to create even more inclusive programming in 2026, with a major focus on niche societal subcultures, in order to revitalize an aging viewer base. Hallmark's Throuple Trouble , a romance about three gay witches who move to Salem to open a Halloween themed vegan bakery, will air next year around Thanksgiving I couldn't be more proud of the progress that the Hallmark Channel has made o

Washington, D.C. - According to a new Bureau of Economic Analysis report, a controversial effort to boost sales by giving free fentanyl to children on Halloween has resulted in yet another huge financial loss for the nation's drug dealers. Actress Sydney Sweeney, shown here talking to a group of middle schoolers about forced sterilization of intellectually impaired women "If someone had told me two weeks ago that hiding fentanyl in Halloween candy for children still wouldn't

Washington, D.C. - President Trump on Tuesday named the first national magnet czar in a move to focus efforts on improving our understanding of the mysterious objects as scientists around the world remain baffled and manufacturers continue to incorporate them into an ever-increasing variety of technological marvels without knowing what they are or how they work. President Trump, shown here nearly taken down by...magnets? We can't know for sure because they are so mysterious.