

More Hospital Workers Turn to Prediction Markets for Extra Income
Jackson, MS - Prediction market mania is sweeping the nation, and an increasing number of medical professionals are turning to apps like Kalshi and Polymarket to supplement incomes or to just have a little fun on the job. A nurse, shown here explaining to a patient that she won $50 on Kalshi after correctly predicting that he would pass his kidney stone before shift change "The great thing about these apps is that they don't involve any gambling," Gabe Throcken, a critical ca

Zoo Knudsen
Apr 172 min read


Evolutionary Body Language Analysts Announce Key Fossil Discovery
Near Harvard - Experts in the scientific study of the body language of fossilized remains of early humans have announced the results of an analysis of the Altamura Man, one of the most complete Paleolithic skeletons ever discovered and the source of the oldest sample of Neanderthal DNA. Neanderthal remains found in Kebara, Israel in 1983 reveal a man with crossed arms and a head slumped forward who lacked self-esteem in social situations and was probably hiding a dark secret

Zoo Knudsen
Apr 151 min read


Scientists Raise Concerns Over Advances in Shaving Technology
Boston, MA - When man first began to desire the elegant and professional look of a smooth and hairless face, this required the use of a sharpened shell or perhaps a crude copper instrument. Over the millennia, we have developed an increasingly powerful array of pogonotomical technologies, allowing humanity to creep closer and closer to the evolutionary pinnacle of facial aesthetics: the perfect shave. Recent discoveries, such as the Nobel prize winning Gillette Lubrastrip, wa

Zoo Knudsen
Apr 133 min read