Arlington, VA- The Infectious Diseases Society of America (IDSA) has issued a new set of guidelines for the prevention of hospital acquired-infections that includes the recommendation that all hospitals transition to single-use therapy dogs by 2030. Single-use therapy dog and good boy, Thomas Cavendish, shown here mere moments before being incinerated to reduce hospital infection rates and methane emissions "The IDSA understands and appreciates the joy that a visit from a the

Miami, Fl - Experts with the Miami Police Department are reaching out to parents and teachers of young children to raise awareness of pediatric excited delirium, a potentially dangerous condition often associated with ingestions of powerful stimulants. Miami baby Gary Peterson, shown here developing fructose-induced excited delirium and just prior to being shot by the police "We aren't talking about your average run-of-the-mill toddler tantrums," Corporal Chad Blaze , a devel

Montgomery, AL - According to a recently published study, giving birth does not result in an increased need for sleep. Birthing Unit # 19,251,450 "Jennifer", shown here happily fulfilling her righteous duty on 1-2 hours of sleep per night "Women in general simply don't need that much sleep," Charp Ullman, Chief of Science at God's Judgement Center for Biblical Truth explained. "And we have proven with this study that childbirth doesn't change that fact, so they should all jus