Florida Chemists Call for Ban of Trans Isomers in Public Schools

Tallahassee, FL - An influential group of conservative chemists are calling for the total ban of trans isomers in Florida public schools.

PCF President Hank Clutch, shown here confused by compounds these days with their lack of respect for the spatial arrangements of atoms that made America a great country when he was a kid growing up in 1960s Tampa

"We aren't interested in a compound's functional groups or what side of a double bond they claim to be on," Patriot Chemists of Florida (PCF) president Hank Clutch explained. "But there is no place for trans isomer ideology in teaching children about organic or inorganic compounds, alkanes, or even alkanes. I'm not even sure that they should be allowed in good Christian chemistry at any level."

Not all chemists or educators in Florida agree with banning trans isomers from public schools. Some, like liberal science teacher Amy Cliffbar, believe that children of all ages can and should learn about the fluidity of stereoisomers while also being exposed to the full range of chemical property expression in a safe and supportive educational environment. "The way we discuss stereoisomers is important. Trans isomers generally have a lower boiling point, and that is at least in part because of the harsh way that they are treated by misguided conservative chemists."