

Advancements in AI and Robotics Pave Way for Cellular Acupuncture
Cambridge, MA - Researchers in ancient Chinese medicine and advanced robotics near the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) believe that they are close to a breakthrough that would allow for successful acupuncture treatments on the cellular level. An acupuncturist and acupuncture anesthetist performing robotically-assisted acupuncture on a patient who has been feeling kind of tired lately. Also...AI? "This is kind of the Holy Grail of acupuncture that many experts in t

Zoo Knudsen
Jan 163 min read
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High School Junior Confirmed as New NASA Chief
Washington, D.C. - The United States Senate has approved the appointment of high school junior Kimberly Jergen to lead NASA after an unorthodox nomination process where President Donald Trump seemed at times unsure of his choice. NASA Chief Kimberly Jergen, shown here going to meet up with some friends at Sephora Jergen, 16, a member of her school's astrology club who became the first non-senior to serve as its president, is also the first NASA administrator in decades to com

Zoo Knudsen
Jan 132 min read
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Chiropractic Researchers Study the Moon's Impact on Human Health
Cape Canaveral, FL - Though the moon has long served as a focus of numerous myths, legends, beliefs, and conspiracy theories, scientists have yet to find convincing evidence of any significant impact on human behavior or physiology. Perhaps, that is, until now. A highly sophisticated graph, shown here proving the benefit of chiropractic care during a full moon and that the Apollo 11 mission was obviously staged by NASA and that guy who directed The Shining Skeptics are quick

Zoo Knudsen
Jan 103 min read
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