Power Mad Taylor Swift Announces Plans to Re-Record Other Artists' Music

Nashville, TN - In a bold show of dominance, music icon Taylor Swift has announced plans to re-record the music of other artists and claim it as her own.

Taylor Swift, shown here at a recent event telling Stevie Nicks that "Edge of Seventeen" belongs to her now and that there is not a damn thing she can do about it

"Ms. Swift is once again putting on a masterclass in the kind of 3-dimensional chess that one needs to play in order to make it in the cutthroat music industry," Cultural historian Boggs Hominy explained. "She's really got a taste for this now, and an empty bag that used be filled with fucks to give."

Swift first re-recorded her own music in order to regain control and ownership after the master recordings of her first six albums were sold to Scooter Braun without her consent in 2019. According to Hominy, this allowed her to create new master recordings and to significantly reduce the monetary value of the originals. "She still had to operate within the bounds of the law back then. But it's 2025 and she can no longer be contained. She exists as a shapeless void with tendrils reaching into numerous dimensions and complete control over all forms of matter and energy. Who is going to stop her? Lady Gaga? Pink? They have already been absorbed."