More Parents Turn to Alternative Potty Training Methods

Jacksonville, FL- Despite decades of scientific advancements in our understanding of human waste elimination across the lifespan, particularly in the most efficient and developmentally appropriate means of teaching young children to use modern toilets, a growing number of parents are turning to so-called alternative methods of potty training that they claim are more natural.

A human child, forced to suffer through the indignity of a conventional symptom-based potty training method, shown here developing learned helplessness and probably PTSD

"It's easy to assume that a child requires a restrictive and regimented training method because they are small and uncoordinated, or because of their limited ability to communicate," Barbara Pennock, Head Instructor at Jacksonville's Freecheeks Potty Training and Functional Gastroenterology Center, explained. "And that's exactly what those ivory tower eggheads from Big Potty want you to believe. More savvy parents are now wisely considering a number of natural options, some of which have been used for thousands of years by both ancient Chinese and Native American societies, before simply going along with a conventional method that may not approach the process holistically."

Pennock admits that the Freecheeks method, with its focus on the root cause of infantile incontinence rather than simply when and where a child pees and poops, isn't for every family. But she believes that it is for parents who are willing to listen to what their young children have to say about their own personal elimination functions and who are willing to pay cash for all the labs and imaging that their medical director orders. And according to her, the process couldn't be simpler as long as you do it exactly as recommended without exception.

"You'll need a garden hose, enough newspaper to cover the floors of your house, and an intimately intuitive connection with your child's bladder and bowels," Pennock revealed. "But what you won't need is any more diapers, as long as you do it right. The goal is absolute and unwavering compliance at all times. And to have fun!"

Carl Reed, a pediatric gastroenterology expert and parent of five human children, isn't sold on what he considers unproven toilet training methods. "In my opinion, calling a method alternative is just a marketing term that implies equal footing in regards to supporting evidence. In reality, there are no conventional or alternative potty training modalities, only those that work and those that do not."