More Experts Recognize Extradimensional Illness in Patients with Chronic Complaints
Sedona, AZ - As Americans face ever increasing rates of obesity, mental health problems, and a variety of chronic illnesses, more experts are beginning to recognize and research extradimensional influences on human health.
"Take inflammatory bowel disease, for example," Panda Center for Extradimensional Medicciner founder Mary Panda, MD explained. "Patients may experience diarrhea, abdominal pain, and even mouth sores using only the limited awareness provided by their physical senses, but we treat the entire entity, even when the source of their problems exists in another dimension, a parallel universe, or perhaps a void between realities."
Modern extradimensional medicine, which practitioners admit is still in its infancy, does have a few vocal critics. According to conventional 3+1 dimensional internal medicine doctor Mort Fishman, MD, skepticism is warranted. "Where is the basic science behind this? Where are the randomized controlled trials? I think that we should stick to diagnosing and treating our patients within the confines of the known spacetime continuum in order to avoid any unforeseen challenges, such as accidentally opening a portal that would allow an interdimensional death wraith to just walk right through. Is that what you want? A death wraith...here?"
Doctors like Mort Fishman learn early on in their medical education to focus only on dimensions backed by solid research, like length, width, and height. "We start learning how to take time into account in patient care during residency. That's when you really learn how to be a doctor. And that's when you learn to respect certain boundaries."
The jury is still out when it comes to extradimension medicine. Dr. Panda, however, is confident that her work is making a difference. "Medicine is about more than objective and reproducible results. There is an art to it. Sometimes that art involves things like validated tests and prescription drugs, and sometimes it involves allowing ourselves to be open to the possibility that a patient has a pathologic connection to another plane of existence, even if that might allow something to cross over. Weighing risks and benefits is what doctors do every day."
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