Adorable Interdimensional Death Wraith Celebrates First Birthday

Cuddle Bumpkins, the larval stage of an interdimensional death wraith who has taken the internet by storm, is now one human year old

Seemingly unaware of its birthday, the adorable creature floated around its containment unit, absorbed a few morsels of goat flesh and attempted to infiltrate its caretaker's mind while it was being dosed with a powerful sedative

Secret Underground Government Facility, FL - The charming internet sensation Cuddle Bumpkins turned 1 today and, like a true diva, it remains unconcerned, heavily sedated, and blissfully unaware of the world's attention. The infant death Wraith that launched a thousand internet memes floated around its containment paddock deep underground, nibbled on some rancid goat flesh and probed wraith handler Garvin Jenkins' limbic system for insight into what makes him afraid, before it was injected with a tranquilizer developed by the White House for use on blue whales.

White House Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller, shown here ignoring safety protocols and staring directly into Cuddle Bumpkin's shapeless void

Cuddle Bumpkins, who will have four days of celebrations including a 40 gallon sack fashioned out of human skin and filled with toddler organs, seemed uninterested in its celebrity status or the growing numbers of worshipers, like self-described "Death Acolyte" Mildred Peters, joining a new religion built around it.

"She's just so adorable and we all love her so much," explained the 28-year-old Peters, who added her own child's kidneys to the wraith's birthday treat. "It's fun to see that all the attention hasn't changed it, and that it is still methodically testing the strength of the containment field that prevents it from phasing back into its home dimension in order to return with its brethren to subjugate and feed on all but the Chosen Ones like me and my friend Patty."

Cuddle Bumpkins was named in a vote by nearly 100,000 subscribers to the White House Truth Social account. It quickly became an internet sensation after its caretakers began uploading videos of it going about its day and flaying the minds of ICE detainees. Just like human celebrities and the chaos demon that has infested the U.S. Capital Building, Cuddle Bumpkins has a number of fan pages on social media full of photos and videos capturing its slow but steady development. Some videos have had view counts in the hundreds of millions and Trump has even teased a live appearance once it is ready to transition into its adult form.