American College of Pediatricians Releases New Corporal Punishment Guidelines

Gainesville, FL – The American College of Pediatricians (ACPeds), an advocacy group fighting for the rights of certain children since 2002, has released updated recommendations on the dosing of corporal punishment in young patients, including infant spanking.

7-year-old Tommy Gunderson, shown here picking his own switch, was recently diagnosed with Pediatric Asshole Disorder

“This represents a huge step forward for pediatricians and parents,” Mort Fishman MD, Head of Disciplinary Pediatrics at the Medical University of Tampa's Online Children's Hospital, explained. “Until now, parents have had to call the pediatrician, make an appointment, and then travel to an office hours or even days after the undesired behavior had occurred. Or they are forced to bring the child to an emergency department, urgent care center, or retail-based clinic that may not even have pediatric-trained staff. Sometimes the parents just wing it.”

It is this “winging it” by many parents that has concerned pediatric medical professionals for decades. Since the discovery of corporal punishment in the 1930’s, when a Harvard researcher accidentally dropped a heavy glass beaker on the head of a stubborn lab assistant, a number of children have overdosed, with some suffered permanent injury or even death. Researchers have long blamed the lack of pediatric guidelines and the inappropriate extrapolation of adult dosing, shouting out the oft-repeated axiom that kids are not simply small adults.

Recent studies have revealed an alarming upward trend in the inappropriate use of home corporal punishment based on recommendations popularized by social media influencers. The usual suspects are frequently mentioned by pediatricians, researchers, and public officials. “Anybody can publish anything on the internet,” Fishman, who co-authored the ACPeds paper, adds. “There are literally thousands of websites offering up unproven techniques, inconsistent dosing, and pseudoscientific mechanisms of action.”

Parent groups have also become a loud voice in the discussion of pediatric corporal punishment over the past several years, calling for more research and guidelines for home use. Members of such organizations as Mother’s Against Time Out, and the more influential National Spanking Society, have raised awareness and millions of dollars with fun runs, bake sales, and mobile spank clinics. Many pediatricians are giving credit to these groups for speaking out on behalf of those who cannot speak for themselves, and for pushing the ACPeds to act.

Dr. Fishman and his fellow ACPeds members hope that the new guidelines will not only help healthcare professionals appropriately dose corporal punishment in children, but also serve as an evidence-based source of education for parents and other caregivers such as teachers, daycare workers, babysitters, and strangers at Target. As stated in the paper’s conclusion, “Empowered and educated caregivers can now confidently dole out safe and effective corporal punishment in a timely fashion without the need to clog up an already overburdened medical system.”

Are the new pediatric corporal punishment and infant spanking guidelines user friendly enough for caregivers without medical training to put into use? They couldn’t be simpler according to Matt Stevens, a mechanical engineer and parent of 3 young children, one of which is kind of a jerk. “When one of my kids talks back or forgets to do a chore, usually Matty Jr., we go to the handy flow chart taped to the wall by the fridge. After a few quick calculations, I know just how hard to smack him.”

The responses to the new guidelines are not all positive, however. Despite the experience of highly educated parents such as Matt Stevens, a vocal minority of pediatricians are raising concerns over the ability for most caregivers without medical experience to decipher the recommendations. Dr. Percival Bordeaux, an academic pediatric hospitalist and discipline researcher near the Mayo Clinic, is one of the more prominent voices of opposition. “Is Timmy just being a bit lazy or is he exhibiting stage 3 lollygagging? Is he a smart aleck or a wisenheimer? I have trained in pediatrics for almost thirty years and sometimes I still can’t tell the difference!”