Young Designer Picked to Revamp Classic Fashion Brand

Paris, France - French fashion house Emanuel Underoo has announced that 9-year-old fashion designer Max Alexander will take over as the new chief designer of their children's cartoon-themed underwear. He succeeds Colombian-American designer Esteban Cortázar, who left last month after nearly twenty seasons at the house.

Alexander, shown here working on an Underoos design based on Buffalo Bill from The Silence of the Lambs

"We were looking for someone young and unsullied," Underoo Chief Executive Renoir Foumarrige explained. "The house needs a designer whose mind isn't tethered to mediocrity by the loathsome abominations churned out in the past like, how do you Americans say...the man of bats?"

9-year-old Alexander, who became the youngest designer to showcase a collection at New York Fashion Week last year, plans on throwing out stale patterns of the past in favor of heading in a new direction. "Heroes like Superman and Wonder Woman, who is a girl and therefore yucky, are boring. Times have changed and kids have changed with them. Bad guys are cool."

Alexander's new line of undergarments, which he calls funderpants (a portmanteau combining "fun" and "underpants"), will feature a host of both classic and contemporary villains such as Solomon Grundy, Mr. Myxlplyx, and Tony Soprano. Also, in addition to the standard small, medium, and large sizes, there will be a new husky size geared towards today's more calorically dense child. Sets of three 100% cotton tee-shirt and briefs combos will run for around $800.