Walmart Expands Holiday Meal Baskets Through Christmas 2025!

Bentonville, AK - Though Thanksgiving may be only one day in the rear view mirror, many families are already thinking ahead to Christmas and are worried about putting together a festive feast that won't break the bank. Can you say...stress? From cooking to decorating to that cool uncle who won't stop talking about how amazing our President is, every step of the way is full of obstacles. You can say stress...again!

A man, shown here preparing a family meal. What's that? Didn't think a man could do that? Or is it just because he's black? You are part of the problem!

Check this out: Walmart has just announced the expansion of its incredibly popular Thanksgiving meal kit, and the price will literally blow your mind. Because it won't be what you expect. Surprise! It's less than $40. Kaboom! Thanks Tariffs!

The amazing basket of food and food-like products will be chock full of absolutely everything you could ever possibly need for a traditional Christmas meal. And yes, there will be a thoughtful, hand-selected combination of a few elitist national brands that cater to out of touch snobs and a variety of wholesome private brands that are dedicated to people who work hard to provide for their families and who love this country. (Best of all, it will have a Butterball turkey, that costs pennies per ounce, which might be the lowest price in almost a few years.)

Not only will the meal basket come fully loaded with all the essentials, but it will also feed a whopping ten people. Twenty if everyone takes one of the pre-meal non-toxic sawdust pellets that will be provided by the White House. Even better, Walmart is offering free delivery. I mean, who doesn't love having their food delivered to them. Talk about the royal treatment! Just imagine it. You, sitting on your couch watching TV, and the doorbell rings. Who is it? Walmart. And they have your food basket ready to go! Who are you, the king of France? No, because you aren't a socialist. You're an American!

Don't click yet - there's more! (Whew! That was close!) Walmart has also revealed details about a super special alternative option that will also be available through Christmas. The Turducken Meal Basket ($98). It contains everything in the standard basket, but instead of a turkey you get an actual wild turducken*. For just a few more dollars, you and your family can feast on one of God's cruelest creations that was only recently genetically resurrected by Cajun scientists!

*Supply is limited. Wild turduckens may be replaced without notice by a chicken with a pigeon crammed inside it, and then...let's just say a rat. They'll probably shove a rat up the pigeon's ass.