"Those Demons Ate My Mother-in-Law": Botched Gender Reveal Opens Portal to Hell

Morris, AL - An embarrassed couple accidentally opened a portal to Hell during a botched home gender reveal party earlier this week, leading some experts to question the practice after a hoard of Satan's minions swept through a small central Alabama town.

A proud father, shown here in 2015 proudly revealing that his wife was pregnant with a baby boy and right before his entire family was dragged to Hell by a host of malevolent Hellspawn

"This was a total disaster," Brad Davidson, an electrician with over 20 years experience who has lived in Morris his entire life, explained. "We just wanted to do something special that people would never forget. Now all they'll remember is how those demons ate my mother-in-law and not that Kaitlyn is finally going to get her baby girl."

Witnesses at the scene describe a sudden transition from a lively get-together for a large group of friends and family gathered to join Brad and Kaitlyn in celebrating the upcoming birth of their third child to a scene full of chaos as entities from a chthonic netherworld where suffering is treated as a form of currency emerged from a deep chasm that had formed in the Earth beneath the large white tent they had picked up from Deborah's Party Rentals in nearby Gardendale that morning. Some survivors, like Hank Jenkins, an electrician with fifteen years experience who works for the same electrical contractor as Brad, are questioning the choices made by the couple. "I like Brad, and Kaitlyn seems really nice. But the whole thing just seems a little narcissistic if you ask me. And now I've got to get a nest of feral imps out of the crawl space under my Mom's house."

Though not the first gender reveal party to get the attention of the Dark Lord in his kingdom of eternal torment, this was the first such incursion to spread outside of the immediate area where the event was being held. According to cultural historian Boggs Hominy, this could represent a worrisome new trend. "Rather than being satiated by the souls of party organizers and maybe a few cousins or college roommates in attendance, what if an army of the damned just decided to stay here. Is it really worth the slaughter of so many innocents for this? You're having a girl. Good for you. Nobody cares!"

The Davidson gender reveal event is far from the first to result in widespread tragedy, however. In 2020, a pyrotechnic device used to disclose the visualization of a penis on a prenatal ultrasound in California was to blame for the deadly El Dorado Fire that burned almost 23,000 acres and led to the death of a firefighter. Hominy says that gender reveal parties have been controversial ever since the first one in 2008 disrupted the Earth's magnetic field resulting in hundreds of airplanes falling from the sky. "Frankly, I don't understand how they caught on like they did, what with their confusing sex for gender and their reinforcement of stereotypical gender roles. And now we've got demons? So many damn demons."