America - It's official, at least to the literally millions of internet users posting videos of themselves taking part in the latest viral "TikTok challenge". The hottest new trend among cusper millennials, Zoomers, and elder gen alphas is slurdging. But what is it? And why is it so popular?

"It's so stupid," 17-year-old slurdger Greer Hedgy explained. "I read about it in some old book I found in the library basement at school. It's so dumb I can't wait to do it again. I love it!"

Slurdging, an ancient practice first described in Sanskrit on a 1st century BCE teen stone tablet, has taken TikTok by storm over the past week with over 10 billion hours of video posted since Timothée Chalamet was caught doing it in an Arby's bathroom. Some medical experts, like certified social media physician Mort Fishman, are warning parents to be on the lookout for signs of slurdging in their teenagers and young adult children still living in their old room or crashing in the basement because their old room has the treadmill now. "Talking back. eye rolling. Sleeping in on weekends. Smartphone use at night. Not thinking that their parents are cool. It's just awful."
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