Studio City, CA - In an effort to better represent the beliefs and lifestyles of its viewers, Hallmark Channel has announced that it will produce their first romantic comedy to focus on far-right conservative Trump supporters.
"Many, if not most, of our long-time viewers are MAGA Republicans living in red states," Hallmark Media president and CEO Mike Perry explained. "Over the past few years, we have been focusing on expanding into more liberal living rooms with movies featuring characters from non-traditional backgrounds, even a couple gay ones and that black lady who solves mysteries, but it's time to reassure that core audience. Yes, all viewers matter at Hallmark Media."
The movie, titled Your Heart, My Choice, will open with the January 6th tour of the U.S. Capitol in 2021. Mike and Rebecca, two patriots striving to save our country from the tyranny of a Joe Biden presidency, will have an adorable meet-cute in front of Nancy Pelosi's office but unfair circumstances will tear them apart. According to Perry, the movie will resonate with a majority of Hallmark fans. "Will a pardon from Donald Trump lead to romantic reunion? Will Mike be able to "stop the steal" of Rebecca's heart by a liberal snowflake beta male? How many brown people will Mike's deputized homegrown militia group round up for deportation? You'll just have to tune in to find out."
It's a long-overdue nod to the majority of patriotic Americans, no longer easily dismissed by coastal elites, musicians, movie stars, and food-service workers. I'm glad you've brought this to our attention, Mr. Knudsen (may I call you Zoo, and where did that name come from, anyway?)