Antibiotic Stewardship Enforcement Agency Issues Warning Over Halloween Candy Dangers

Arlington, VA - The United States Antibiotic Stewardship Enforcement Agency (ASEA) is warning parents to be on the lookout this Halloween for unnecessary antibiotics in their children's candy.

A pile of loose antibiotics and candy recently confiscated at Los Angeles International Airport and containing enough clavulanic acid to cause diarrhea in every child in Pittsburgh

"Halloween is one of the most exciting days of the year for many families," ASEA administrator Mike Lee, MD explained. "The last thing that a child or their caregivers should have to worry about is contributing to the development of extended-spectrum beta-lactamase producing bacteria that put us all at risk of living in a post-antibiotic hellscape of our own making."

Dr. Lee and his colleagues at the ASEA are asking parents, grandparents, and even non-pedophile uncles to sort through any collected Halloween candy for potential loose antibiotics. "These pills, tablets, and capsules can resemble actual candy. Children are stupid and can easily confuse an oral third-generation cephalosporin with a tic tac, a Mike and Ike, or even a SweeTart. And don't get me started on those ceftaroline gummies. Why is everything a gummy these days? It's getting ridiculous! It's not just me...right?"