Washington, D.C. - NASA is reaching out to reassure the world that their development of giant robot space spiders will not threaten organic life here on Earth, and they seem pretty confident about it. A team of NASA engineers, shown here removing the remotely accessible "kill switch" from a spidernaut after it promised to never subjugate mankind "We would like to reassure all Americans, and the global community, that there is almost no chance that an army of self-replicating

Louisiana will redirect its large fleet of emergency pirogues from humanitarian efforts in Greenland to the Strait of Hormuz tout de suite in order to help President Trump ranger all dat gradoo. Governor Landry, shown here with a squad from the Louisiana National Guard preparing to ship out to Iran in that pirogue they borrowed from Bubba Comeaux's uncle T-Jim in Mamou Louisiana Governor Jeff Landry overheard while waiting on a fried oyster po-boy in the parking lot of Sammy'

Washington, D.C. - Only three days after a judge blocked subpoenas served to Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell as part of a probe into potential crimes related to management of the central bank's renovation, the Department of Justice has announced that it is now seeking access to Santa's Naughty List. Santa Clause, shown here telling a child that he better be a good boy or else he won't get any presents this year, has denied visiting Epstein Island "This is the antithesis o