New York - Phizer, the American multinational pharmaceutical and biotechnology corporation behind such blockbuster products as Zithromax Flavor Blast™ liquid water enhancer and Manorgamax, has announced a breakthrough in anti-aging medicine that they expect to be available by the end of the summer. Does Anthony Fauci take Extendor to live longer and stronger? We'll never tell. But yes, he totally does! And that's why he's America's favorite...I want to say...accountant? "This

Newton, MA - When expectant mother Sincy Bastion arrived at Newton-Wellesley Hospital last week with a birth plan that she had developed along with her husband and doula, hospital staff were understandably reluctant to allow an untrained lay person to dictate management of a medical procedure. But after reading the plan, the nurses and physicians involved in Bastion's care realized that this was no ordinary patient request. In fact, what they discovered will revolutionize hos

Tallahassee, FL - An influential group of conservative chemists are calling for the total ban of trans isomers in Florida public schools. PCF President Hank Clutch, shown here confused by compounds these days with their lack of respect for the spatial arrangements of atoms that made America a great country when he was a kid growing up in 1960s Tampa "We aren't interested in a compound's functional groups or what side of a double bond they claim to be on," Patriot Chemists of