President Trump Signs Executive Order Renaming Measles
Washington, D.C. - Backed by emerging research from the Department of Health and Human Services and a keen focus on his America first agenda, President Trump has signed an executive order that changes the name of measles to "Freedom Bumps".
"It's a perfect name because that's what they are when you think about it," President Trump explained from his personal medbed located in the Executive Residence. "Measles, what we have officially renamed Freedom Bumps, is a virus invented by the Dumbocrats. Most people don't even know that but I probably know more about virus, and measle, than anyone, maybe in the world. As you know my uncle, who had a very high IQ like me, worked at MIT. The M of MIT comes from measle."
With the signing of the "Inaugurating the Era of Measles" order, all government agencies, including the HHS, NIH, CDC, FDA, and UFC, will refer to measles as "Freedom Bumps". According to Homeland Security secretary Markwayne Mullin, true Americans should be free to live their lives the way they want. "No, it's one word. But you say it like it's two separate first names. It's Mark, and then like Kanye, but with a w. Don't feel bad. Everybody gets it wrong."
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