Spleen Named Least Sexy Organ by Experts

New York - Hitting newsstands last week, the latest edition of Maxim Science, a popular science magazine for men, revealed the highly anticipated results of their controversial annual listing of the world's sexiest and least sexy human organs.

A young Sydney Sweeney, shown here just prior to becoming lodged in the gears of a wheat thresher, would become a major advocate for spleen health

Coming in as the least sexy human organ, according to the experts at Maxim Science, the "spleen is the least sexy organ in a group of very unsexy organs from both a functional point of view and objective assessments of the physical characteristics." They further explain that the unfashionable and hopelessly unhip mass of lymphoid tissue is pivotal in cleaning up old or diseased red blood cells and plays a key role in the immune system's ability to fight off microbial predators. But, says Mort Fishman, a hematologist practicing near Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center who participated in the ranking, the spleen is "so last decade it's not even funny!"

As the list has made its way around the scientific community over the past few days, defenders of the maligned organ, present in the abdominal cavity of most humans and many animal species, have been speaking out. Sydney Sweeney, an American actress and part-time faculty member of University of California at Irvine's Comparative Vertebrate Anatomy department who lost her spleen after a tragic encounter with a wheat thresher as a young child growing up in an agricultural commune near Spokane, has expressed outrage over the magazine's list, and concern over the potential negative health consequences.

"Does the spleen fit the ideals and standard of a group of researchers writing in a men's science magazine? Maybe not," the Madame Web star explained. "Is it really the least sexy organ in the entire world? Wow! It's so brutal in a way, so filled with rage and anger. I can't help but worry what might happen if people start neglecting their spleen health in favor of more glamorous but less important organs."

The listing of the world's least sexy human organs was accompanied by the science magazine's unveiling of their annual sexiest organ rundown. Not surprising to many experts, and longtime readers, repeating with top honors was the vagina, followed by the breasts. Making the list for the first time this year, the gallbladder came in third.