Artemis II Mission Confirms Trumpiocentric Model of the Cosmos

Washington, D.C. - As the astronauts of NASA's Artemis II mission near completion of their epic and inspirational journey to the moon and back, the first in over 50 years, conservative scientists are heralding the accomplishment as definitive proof of the Trumpiocentric model of the cosmos.

President Trump's drawing of a proposed Orion spacecraft, which Lockheed Martin engineers relied heavily on during the design process

"This is something that we have long suspected to be an unassailable aspect of creation," Gerald Honeycutt, White House Director of Fundamental Astrotheology and Chief Advisor to the Department of Trumpian Apologetics, explained. "To be able to return to the Earth from so far away requires an immensely powerful attractive force. There is simply no other explanation that makes sense. The science is clear, and the science points directly at the president."

Returning from deep space is certainly a challenge. According to Honeycutt, a former hedge fund manager who donated $30 million to President Trump's reelection campaign, the hardest part will come during the final 13 minutes before splashdown in the Pacific Ocean near San Diego. "Imagine plummeting towards the Earth at almost 25,000 miles per hour with just a sliver of a heat shield protecting you from a 5,000 degree inferno. Now imagine that without the love and support of President Trump's all-knowing and all-powerful nature."

President Trump has expressed supreme confidence in his ability to bring the astronauts home safely. In a televised address to the nation earlier this week, the president discussed the complexities of the final stage of the mission. "All the systems are important. Life support, navigation, propulsion, person, camera, TV. And none of it could have happened without the use of my drawings."